My stand-by

Whether she likes to admit it or not every woman knows exactly who they call when their man ain’t acting right. Well I had the same stand-by for some years now and he no longer does it for me. I had to cut him off today, Now my stand-by is actually more like my in between guy. I only call him when I really need something. I know you may think this is wrong but if he is acceptable to this why aren’t you?
Anyway…….today or whether this evening he stopped by. Now of course me being me. My thoughts are smoke get some head smoke again and send him on his way. But tonight I didn’t even want the head. Like WOW I love getting head. I was even listening to my ol’ Lil Kim “Don’t want D*** Tonight. Classic. I don’t know tonight he came in and it was like a “wad up bro” moment. Anyway we of course smoke. I mean duh. Then we had that talk. The “I’m not sure if this is a break up since we were never together” speech. Yeah the  speech where the guy permanently in the friend zone even laughing at you.
So needless to say I no longer have my fall back plan because I dismiss him today. I don’t have a side boo/stand-by because I don’t have a main man. I kind of feel bad because I didn’t exactly let him down easy. I had to be basically blunt and let him know that I don’t want to be involved sexually with him no longer and this is not a temporary decision but indeed a final. I think I may have hurt his feelings but I had to just put it out there. No use in holding that in and not having any benefit in our arrangement. I’ve told him from jump once I loose interest I will leave within a blink of eye. I guess he figured after all these years that maybe feelings must have developed.
I am not like most girls. I am really good at controlling my emotions. I admit that I’ve caught real feelings for a fake love. However I have learned from that. I now got padlocks on my heart and ain’t opening that up until something REAL presents itself. Don’t get me wrong I am a girl so I like to cuddle and talk and be intimate and loving and nurturing and all that girly stuff, but I learned that treatment isn’t meant for everybody. I can’t be opening up and getting all in my emotions for temporary people. The next one that I will give a damn about  best be holding me down for the long haul. Real spit from the mouth of Ree.

But there is someone who has caught my eye and I wouldn’t mind seeing if that could work into something beautiful!

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