There is so much more then just a name. At one point I had naively assumed that once a a man produces a seed into this world that would automatically make him a father. I have come to understand that is not a truth.
A man has to want to become a father. He has to unselfishly give up parts of himself for that seed to grow and mature. The father is the man that teaches the child what a “man” is and what a “man” is suppose to stand for. My father granted was not in my life as a child for reason with and not within his control. However when given the opportunity he showed up and hasn’t left my side.
Now this post/blog is technically directed to a certain individual in my life, I will not mention his name. Not because I am afraid of possible reactions from this person I just do not want this person to feel like he is being credited or acknowledged in any way.
Some history: I have 2 children both by the same man. Neither have a real relationship with the man the help produce them. My daughter (his twin) had a relationship with him when “we” were still together. Now that we are separated there is no longer a bond and hasn’t been in a few years now. She constantly reaches out with no hand to hold onto. My son (our son) doesn’t know him. I think in his 3 yrs of life he has seen him about 6 times.
SN: I am sooo proud of big boy, he is wearing undies now!!!!!!!!! Potty training is becoming a huge success!
Anyway along the path of single parenting I must admit I have come across some GREAT MAN who even though we are no longer in romantic relationships they have been there for both of the children that was conceived by another. This saddens me to a degree because the actual father of my kids can be a great dad if he truly applied his self. There is always this excuse or that as to why he can’t be involved in these children’s lives. There was times when I would’ve given anything to have him around them. To let them know who he is and allow him to teach them the lessons of the world. Now however, as much as I would like not to admit it (or believe it) but I feel the children and myself of course is better off without him in their world. I no longer have lie to my children as why “daddy” don’t come around or how come “daddy” don’t love us. I also would like to add that although I thought I would never allow my children to call another man dad. I can’t help but allow my children to call my friend “dad”. He is there for them at every call. Yes me and the gentleman once dated and yes it ended without a hope of it being resparked. However, he is the definition (in my book anyway) man. He still clings to my children if his. I will never discredited him. Because of him my children are not growing without knowing.
Yes I am a single parent and enjoy every moment of it. It has it’s ups. It has it’s downs. I wouldn’t give it up for the world!
Loving my 2 + 1 (the +1 is my nephew)